Thank You..

I don’t think I have ever said thank you for being the best “fans” (i hate that word y’all are family to me) a person could ask for, I have gotten constant support from all places my blog is published (Facebook, Instagram, here.) When I started this blog it was more so a coping place for me, I would vent about my daily issues and then post it and not think about them again. Now this is my life, I have so much joy doing these posts and stories for you guys I truly enjoy every comment and like it shows me that I AM NOT ALONE, like I have been telling you guys for months. Don’t get me wrong I have wanted to quit I have been discouraged but every time I feel like that someone comments “these posts help me so much” and I just get more motivation to keep going with them!

My Instagram is flourishing, my blog is as well and I thank every single one of you for being the reason I kept making these posts!!

With that being said keep being you! Also there a big things coming for this blog! Keep a look out for those!!!

Email; beautyibeholderblog@gmail.com

Instagram; @beautyibeholder

Twitter (bet you didnt see that coming!); @beautyibehold1

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Living In The Moment.. Or Something Like That.

Often times we are told “live in the moment” or “Don’t dwell on the past”, but doing those to things are definitely easier said than done, am I right?

As someone with anxiety and paranoia those two things don’t come easy to me. You know we’re told these things as if it’s supposed to just happen. We’re just going to wake up one day and ta-da cured I can now live in the moment, but that’s not the case. You have to almost “forget” the past, stay in the present, and not look toward the future to “live in the moment”. I’d love to be that person who is always taking things day by day without a care in the world but that’s just not me. Do you ever feel that? Like it’s just not you?

If you do how about we start something new called “live in every moment”. Look forward to the future, but not too far that it stresses you out! Remember the past, but not dwell in it to the point you’ve suddenly become depressed, and be thankful for the present. Be thankful YOU have a past, present, and future. Life is unexpected so don’t take for granted all the memories you’ve had and will have! Cherish them, love them, and hold them dear to your heart!

We all make mistakes, it’s part of being human so don’t hold on to them in a way that will make you have self hate, hold on to them in a way of learning from them and building off them. Your past doesn’t have to be something you dread or can’t bare to think about, let it be something where you say “I know I made mistakes now how can I avoid those mistakes from here on out”. Don’t look at the present as stress filled situations, look at them as “I have the job”, “I got the car”, and so on and so forth. Look at the future as a silver lining, that is all the time you have to make something of yourself and do what your heart desires!

As Miley or hannah once sang “Life’s what you make it so let’s make it rock”

Bad quote I know but hey it gets the point across!

Achieve your dreams and LIVE IN EVERY MOMENT!

and as always You are not alone!

Email; beautyibeholderblog@gmail.com (my email is for; questions, advice, comments, concerns, etc. please don’t be afraid to reach out to me I AM NOT a licensed therapist but I am a human being willing to help those who need it!)

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Life’s Unexpected Events

As we all know life has a funny way of saying “screw you” and I have faced that a lot in these last few days.

Along with dealing with things I have learned that life happens, and sometimes it happens in ways you don’t agree with it. When life throws you curve balls you have to take them as is and get back up. Don’t give up over small things, don’t give up at all. Just get back on your feet and give it your all.

You are as strong as you think you can be. Anything you dream you could do it if you put your mind to it! Want to go to medical school? Do it. (guess I have been watching too much Grey’s Anatomy). Want to become a firefighter? Do it. Anything you want to do, do it. Don’t let anyone hold you back, don’t change for anyone. Do you! This blog post has taken a weird turn and honestly that’s usually how I make these is by letting the words flow.

I am always open to suggestions on what anyone would like to hear me right about! My “fans” mean so much to me and it always makes me smile when someone comments to me or says something about my posts helping them. That is my main goal is to help!

As always, You’re not alone!

Email: beautyibeholderblog@gmail.com

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Being An Empath, What Does That Mean?

Since I was little I was always very “emotional” my family and everyone around me could agree it was a lot to deal with. Up until I was 16 I thought for sure that I was bipolar because I would have mood swings left and right. Little did I know they weren’t my emotions, they were the emotions of the people (and spirits) around me.

What is an Emapth?

An empath is really someone who can feel and absorb other peoples’ emotions. Not only is it someone who can do that but it is someone who is very in-tuned with the world I would say!

What are the signs, am I an Empath?

Most people are, the level of how much of an empath you are depends on how in tune with yourself you are in my opinion. You have people who can recognize facial expression and be like “oh he’s sad” or “oh he’s mad”. That’s still being an “emapth” but for people like me, I don’t like loud sounds, or bright flashes of light. I don’t like being in large crowds of people not because of my social anxiety per say but because I am feeling what each and every person in that crowd is feeling at all times. I can feel what animals are feeling, even what the “earth” is feeling.

How did you realize you were an empath?

I realized I was an empath when one of my friends sat me down and explained what that means to be one, and from there on out it all started making sense. I am essentially a light worker in the spirit realm.

 

PSA; I am not fully educated on this topic, I have not furthered researched what exactly this means for me. Due to the fact I do not know if I would like to quite yet. So please don’t take my words as the only thing you read about being an emapth this is just how I look at it and I do recommend you read further on it to have a better understanding.

You’re not alone

Email;beautyibeholderblog@gmail.com

 

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Motivated and Awake

Today is the first day in awhile that I’ve felt awake and motivated. I did not get up on time but that is fine I am proud of myself for just feeling something other than depressed and staying in bed.

On that note be proud of yourself to. Did you get out of bed today? Awesome!! Did you stay in bed and take a mental health day? Awesome!!! Just be proud of yourself for even trying. Be proud of yourself for staying strong on the toughest days. Be proud of yourself FOR BEING YOU. Life is not easy no one ever said it was, and if they did they were lying. You have to be your own motivation in life don’t rely on anyone to be that for you.

I want you to ask yourself, “what are 5 things I did today that I am proud of?” and I’ll do the same.

  1. I got out of bed.
  2. I made this post
  3. I cleaned up a little around the house
  4. I went outside
  5. I am me

That’s it 5 things, it might seem hard at first but its not. You got this.

If you have not already follow my Instagram for more posts and inspiration @beautyibeholderblog

As always you are not alone!

Email: beautyibeholderblog@gmail.com

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Things You Should Know About Someone With Depression and Anxiety.. My Perspective.

As someone who is actively dealing with these two things on a daily basis I thought I should do one of these, I see them go around on Facebook and Instagram a lot and thought why not.  So let’s jump right into it.

anx·i·e·ty
/aNGˈzīədē/
noun
a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome.
“he felt a surge of anxiety”
This is probably the worst of the two for my case.
Things I do because of my anxiety:
  • I won’t go in your house and ask for food, or a drink for that matter. Not until I’ve been there a few times.
  • I won’t eat if i feel uncomfortable in my surroundings.
  • I hate confrontation.
  • I hate being put in the spotlight.
  • I won’t use public restrooms, or any restroom but my own till I am comfortable.
  • I hate making phone calls. (I have gotten better with this though.)
  • I carry around a plastic bag in my purse if I am around new people because I am afraid of throwing up and having no place to do that.

Those are just a few if i wanted this to be a mile long I would say some more. I do want to mention along with those things I have serious panic attacks to the point my heart rate reaches 140 bmp.

de·pres·sion
/dəˈpreSH(ə)n/
noun
  1. 1.
    feelings of severe despondency and dejection.
    “self-doubt creeps in and that swiftly turns to depression”

Things that happen because of my depression:

  •  I will sleep 14+ hours
  • I won’t leave my bed
  • I distance myself
  • I have a hard time remembering things, that could be both anxiety and my depression
  • I get angry easily
  • I constantly feel exhausted

How to help someone with these things (in my opinion)

  • Ask what to do to help
  • Help control breathing during a panic attack
  • Don’t escalate the situation by being mean or loud.
  • Talk the person through it
  • Ask what they are depressed about if they know.
  • help take their mind off what’s bothering them.

These things are a very serious issue.  However they can be coped with you just have to find what suits you. I am still figuring out what helps me and what doesn’t.

Just remember you’re not alone and there are millions of people out there with similar issues, ask for help.. My email is always open for advice and help, however I am not a therapist and if that’s the help you think you may need please seek for that first!

Email: beautyibeholderblog@gmail.com

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Awake and Inspired.. Kinda

I have hit a rough patch, I am going through quite a bit and you know, that’s okay. Life isn’t always happy and rainbows there has to be a rain for a rainbow to appear.

If you’re feeling like I am and you just feel weak and can’t find anything to fight for, fight for yourself. You are stronger than you will ever imagine. You can get through whatever it is that is bringing you down. I know it sucks sometimes and I know that things don’t always go as planned but please just keep fighting. You are a warrior, you are beautiful, you are handsome, you are smart, you are not alone. 

We all hit rough patches in our lives and anyone who tells you they don’t is lying. We all get knocked down from time to time, and we all face challenges that seem harder at first glance. No matter what do what’s is best for you. It is okay to take advice and it is okay to listen to what people have to say but it is your life and ultimately you are the one who has to decide what is best for you. It is okay to cry, for both men and women.

No matter what religion you believe in you are not given any challenges that you can’t beat. Everything happens for a reason. Love yourself before you love others and smile. Take in every moment you have in life and just live.

Email; beautyibeholderblog@gmail.com (just incase you don’t know why this is here, its for response to my posts, questions, comments, suggestions, help anything. I am not a licensed therapist though!)

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Quick Update

this is just a quick little update, I’ve made an Instagram to reach more people and help more people it is @beautyibeholderblog ❤️

This blog journey has had its ups and downs and I’ve thought about giving up but as I always say, if one person reads these and gets inspired that’s enough for me.

keep me informed with what you guys wanna read from me I’d love to hear 💗

Email; beautyibeholderblog@gmail.com

Your Life Matters

WARNING; this post talks about drugs and drug usage. I am in no way trying to belittle anyone or make anyone uncomfortable. If this topic makes you uncomfortable please don’t read this. Thank You!

I want to talk about a subject I really don’t have much knowledge of just how it’s effected me.

It’s no secret I lost a dear friend to drugs, hard drugs. And I find myself often wondering if there is anything I could’ve done and the truth is probably not. I didn’t even know about the drugs until it was too late. We were on a bad note when I lost him and it haunts me almost 2 years later.

Drugs are serious and not only does it effect the one using them but the people around them. My friend had many people who loved and cared about him both friends and family. I can’t speak for them because I’m not them. I find myself questioning if it’s even my place to speak of him because we had a different bond then the ones I see of him and his other friends. We weren’t super close but we were close enough. I haven’t been to his grave because I still believe it’s not my place.

If you find yourself in a position where you are offered drugs say no, turn around, walk the other way, something. It is serious and it isn’t something you can just come back from. It’s a struggle. It’s hard and it’s a long process. And if you’ve found yourself stuck can’t get out of the trap that’s set. Seek help. Tell someone. You have to want out of the trap to get out. It’s not easy the trap is tricky. But please seek out someone to help you. You’re loved and you won’t be shamed if you seek the right person. Your life matters.

Small q&a

After last post I haven’t really had an idea of what to do. It took a lot for that post and I’ve talked to a lot of amazing people and I just don’t know if I want to do a part 2 or continue on with the usual posts but for now while I’m awake unable to sleep I’d figure I’d answer these questions that I’ve been procrastinating.

How do you deal with your anxiety and depression?

Well, I don’t. That’s my problem I have in the past with music. I did try therapy. And things along those lines. I would like to try meditation and reading more books. My mom recommend I read some self help books! So yeah, I don’t and I don’t recommend you take my course of action! But maybe try the things I’d like to try. ❤️

How did you get through it all?

Well, I mean I’m still battling some of it but as far as bullying I forgave but didn’t forget. It doesn’t hurt them at all if you hang on to the pain they gave you. It gives them power over you and that’s helping them. It’s very hard to let go but at some point it does help you. I recently started confronting people I’ve had issues with and said hey I just want to let this go and it’s gone good so far.

How has bullying effected who you are today?

In some sense I believe it’s made me stronger and more aware of the people around me. But in another sense it has made me very cautious of who I talk to and who I let into my life. It has also made me question a lot of people all the time I often feel like my closest people will leave me or hurt me but all in all it has just made me more aware of how some people are.

Where are the bullies now and what are they doing in life?

This is a good question. Just the other day I came across one of the girls who bullied me and it almost seemed like she avoided serving my table or looking at me. But I don’t know that for sure. I’d say most of them are still in the high school mind set. Partying and doing things I just don’t find good for a persons life. Especially at a young age. Some of them have gotten in contact with me or I evened helped them while they were being bullied recently. I know some of them still talk about me and I just don’t care to find out what they’re talking about. 😊

I hope I answered all your questions good and I hope you enjoy this post. I’ve been in a depressed funk for a few weeks now and I’m just sleeping. (Don’t take after me in that aspect please.)

As always you’re not alone!

Email: Kyleexnoelle@icloud.com (I leave my email for anyone who needs someone. Or has questions for me or even thoughts!)